FIRST LOVE (episode 13)

It was only when I got to my room I discovered I was hungry, the fact was that I hadn’t eaten anything since I morning. Cooking was impossible, since my kerosene stove was already a desert with serious drought of kerosene, even if I had kerosene, the only foodstuff in my locker was garri. I immediately found myself in a dilemma, I couldn’t go to Mt’s room, because I knew I wouldn’t find any food, he only cooked at mid-night when everyone was asleep, and even at that, he cooked at a regular intervals of three days.
I switched on the Bluetooth headset I took from ykay’s room and started playing the song, paying attention to the lyrics rather than the beats, all this I did amidst near violent rumbling in my stomach. I knew quite well that none of fmr friends would lend me money, and it wasn’t yet month end, in fact the month was sjust beyond half, so there was no hope of getting money from home. I continued learning the song amidst heavy thoughts of how to get food, the 110 naira on me was already gone before I even spent it spent since I had to call Funke.
I was grateful to Etisalat when I discovered I still had about 10 megabytes left of the weekly 15 megabyte I was given. In order to utilize it , I quickly clicked on Google and started searching for ‘love my baby’ lyrics. I had just few hours left before 7pm- the time I ought to call Funke, therefore, the best I could do was to concentrate on the task despite the protest by the worms in my stomach.
When I felt I my preparation was enough, I went to the Aboki’s shop just outside my hostel to recharge my phone with 100 naira, and I bought 10 naira sugar for the sake of my stomach. I got back to my room and soaked the remnant of my garri, I could feel jubilation in my stomach when the first spoons of garri dropped there, and gradually I came back to life…never underestimate the power of love…I only got to know how hungry I was when I started drinking my’ garium sugarnitrate’.
After my sumptuous meal, I called my Funke to prove to her I could do anything to make her happy…
The best way to enjoy being with the one you love is in the silence of nature, to be out of sight and hearing of the market eyes and ears. Thus, I strolled to the back of the girls hostel, which was the closest to the most silent part of the school- the bush. The female hostel was usually busy at that time of the night with the trooping in of visitors, and I sometimes went there to feed my eyes. On that particular night, my eyes were almost blinded by the powerful rays produced by the headlight of several flashy cars parading the hostel searching for dates.

I kept wondering why the female hostel had to be filled at night with men various classes of the society, I remembered my first few weeks in the school when I told my friends that the fathers of those grills coming to visit them almost every night must be very caring. I remembered how they busted into laughter, don jazz especially who was laughing with tears in his eyes. Mt was benevolent enough to inform me that its actually the daddies that came to visit them, not the biological daddies but the aristo-daddies.and so as I made my way through on that night, I reminded myself it meant actually nothing to those involved, after all it’s a free world.

By the time I got to my silent destination, a feeling of déjà vu stole the moment, as I kept imagining being there with Funke herself in all her glory. As I dialed her number, an additional feeling of anxiety came over me. I was hardly aware when my darling picked up, until I heard ‘hello’, I didn’t bother replying her, though inadvertently, I started singing in the most melodious voice I could produce…and on I went.

To my amusement, i was as good as flawless throughout the song,when i finished singing, the receiver reminded me that I just had a minute left, and with that I simply told her ‘I love you’ and as usual she replied with ‘ok’. It was over three months into our relationship but I was yet to get a word of love from her. I wished her goodnight, tucked my hands into my cashless pockets and started finding my way back to the hostel with a feeling of complacence….

BRAIN TEASER; WHO IS STRONGER

Once upon a time three young men set out on a journey to a deep forest in search of a treasure. Midway into their adventure, they all started complaining of thirst. They went into different directions searching for water to no avail.
After the futile search for water, they unanimously decided to use their God-given strength to provide water.
The first man, struck a blow to the earth, and immediately, a Well formed.Another problem came up as there was no container to fetch the water from the well.
As such the Second man raised the well and poured water by turn to the for the two others to drink.
After they had taken their fill of water, they became worried about how to convey the water should there be any need for it again in the course of their journey.
As such the third man raised the well to his shoulder till they got to their destination.
Who is the strongest?

kindly drop your answers and let us know the strongest of them all

FIRST LOVE (episode 12)

As time went by, Funke became a synonym for Wasak on the part of my friends,many called me Mr. Funke. I spent a lot of time composing poems, and various text messages which I sent to her every day. It was over a month since she accepted me into her life, yet for all my efforts to make her happy I never got a word of appreciation from her, the best I got was ‘ok’. It wasn’t as if I was worried about that, but my friends wouldn’t let me be, they insisted that she was taking me for a ride , and I was doing the needful stepping up her game.
I was deaf to any negative statement about my relationship with Funke. This almost led to a fallout between me and my friends but for maturity. It was just over a month into the new semester and I was already broke. My account was credited every month, but that was not enough to salvage the situation, I already spent the money before I got it. During the first month of the second semester, I was always buying card calling Funke, I even changed my Sim in order to be on the same network with her, it was cheaper, but I called more. I never allowed her to spend a dime on me, whenever she called, I’d reject her call , and call her back, I wasn’t trying to impress her, but I was a lover boy…a passionate one at that…
When I got broke, I started borrowing to keep my game steady, I didn’t borrow money, I borrowed cards, for all I needed that time was recharge card to call Funke- the love of my life and I spent an average of 400 naira daily on cards. I was comfortable with drinking garri 3 times a day and 5 days a week save for the little days I was lucky. I hardly bought foodstuffs throughout the semester . The only times I ate something different from garri and eba was whenever I ate in my friends’ rooms or when Mt’s girl cooked for us, in the meantime, my friends gave up on me and accepted the fact that I wouldn’t yield to tales of their experiences from past relationship, I was really happy about this for it helped me stay focused…not on my studies..but on my relationship.
In the beginning of the third month of the semester, the results of the previous semester were pasted on notice boards across the school. The result was a disappointment to science students, more than half of the whole population of science students in the school had carry over in a single course –maths 1301…on my part, I was lucky enough to be among the few who led my department and the results of my pals weren’t bad either.
After lectures on that day, I rushed to the hostel and dialed Funke’s line to break the good news to her…little did I know that my happiness was only momentary and would be cut short by FUNKE!!!

Me; ‘good afternoon sweetheart’
Funke ; ‘good afternoon’
Me; ‘guess what’
Funke;‘what’
Me ; ‘our first semester results were released this morning and I did well’
Funke; ‘ehen!! And what’s my business with that’
That had been the opening of the conversation between myself and Funke, immediately she asked what her concern was with my result, my jaw dropped, my mouths were wide agape with no sound coming out of it. Her words stung my heart like the bite of a bee.
I quickly apologized to avoid infuriating her majesty further, a part of me was thankful that I was making the call in seclusion, had my friends been present, the story could have been different. She told me my apology would only be accepted on one condition.
The condition was that I memorize wizkid’s song , her favorite song actually and sing it to her on that night. I was stunned when I heard her, what a weird order, but I was ready to do anything as long as it would appease my princess. I asked whether I should play it to her hearing, she objected to my suggestion and insisted I carry out her request or rather her order.
Memorizing ‘love my baby’ wasn’t a problem, although I had never listened to any of Wizkid’s song prior to her request, I felt I could meet her demand. The problem actually was that I had a text the next day, how was I to cope with her order and my test !!! ‘how’ I wondered .
After some minutes of reflection, i dashed out to Id's room. When i got there I collected his phone and searched for 'love my baby' by Wizkid, lo and behold I couldn't find it there. Throughout my stay in his room, he kept asking what my mission was
How could I have told him Funke ordered me to memorize a song ?

I dashed out of his room and off i went to Ykay's room (another course-mate of mine). I asked whether he had the song on his phone, to which he replied in the affirmative. I opened up to him as to my mission , because unlike Mt and Id ,Ykay was a Jew man like me. After I finished explaining my mission, he shook his head and said 'Wasak , i must tell you the truth, you are mad'
On a normal day, Yk's remark could have infuriated me, but it didn't for i admitted i wad truly mad, not only that, i was fully contented with my madness for it gave me joy.
After sending the song to my phone, i surreptitiously took his Bluetooth headset and ran away from his room (we lived in the same block) .
On my way downstairs to my room, I saw an inscription on the stair case, it must have been written by a student..it read 'WHEN LOVE IS NOT MADNESS, IT IS NOT LOVE AT,ALL'
I smiled after reading it and nodded in agreement.

FIRST LOVE (episode 11)

In order to prevent myself from further hurt, i lied to Funke that i was low on credit and would therefore call her later. This was probably a good decision because it also helped to conceal my tears. I crept back into my room , and lay on my bed like a rejected piece of good. Well how was i different from that?

I pondered over the last 3 days, how worried i had been about Funke when i couldnt reach her, i pondered about how well she appreciated my worry over her with cold responses. I pondered about the tears falling freely from my eyes , i asked myself whether it was the same me who found it hard to shed a tear drop when i lost an aunt the previous year....
It was about a week since Funke had accepted my proposal, the bulk of my thoughts, money and time was expended on her one way or the other, yet the best i could get in return was those responses...in between those thoughts, i found myself dialling her number once more, when she picked up , i found myself apologising for disturbing her the other time...i asked about her upcoming exams to which she responded positively, much to the delight of my hitherto sobber heart for reasons beyond me.
After the call, I concluded the same way Nnu Ego had concluded in 'the joys of motherhood' according to her, if you don't have children , the longing for them will kill you, If you have children the worry over them will kill you...my case was similar ''if you don't have a lover, the longing for them will kill you, when you finally think you found love, the worry over such love will kill you''!!!!

My conclusion wasn’t enough to deter me from loving Funke, rather it only made me love her more.
A few days later, I traveled back to school without even seeing Funke, when I had requested that I’d like us to meet, she told me in clear terms ‘it is not possible’, I accepted my fate or what choice hath a beggar?
When I returned to school, I couldn’t hold myself from breaking the news of my relationship to my friends which earned me mockery till date. Mt had requested for a pics of the supposed girlfriend and I told him I had none, this really angered him, he asked whether I met her in person, and I replied in the negative, he concluded I was probably joking because he failed to understand how a relationship would thrive on phone calls only.
During my discussion with Mt, Id walked in- Id was one of our very close friends then, he took interest in our discussion and also requested to see her picture, when I told him I had none, he burst out into minutes of laughter, Mt joined him and they both laughed at what they thought was acute foolishness on my part.
I didn’t allow their remarks deter me , but they and some of my other friends kept asking so many questions , I replied all of their questions in an enthusiastic manner , this really cracked them up, I didn’t understand the reason for their laughter then...but today, I think I do.
On one of such occasions I was on one of such long calls with my love, when Id came to my room , he patiently waited for me to end the call, and I ended in the usual way lovers do;
‘I love you’
Funke;’ok,bye’
After the call, Id inquired whether or not she replied in a like manner; I simply told him she had never told me she loved me. He insisted I call her back, right at that moment, I did and repeated ‘I love you’ , she replied in her usual manner, Id noticed this and he suddenly seized the phone from me!!!

I already knew his motive of seizing the phone from me and therefore didn’t bother wrestling it from him. I knelt down and begged him not to speak to her, at least not with that intention. He had planned to question her whether she truly loved me or was jus whiling away time with me, luckily for me the call went off due to poor network and didn’t connect for that moment.
I was in love, not only with my heart but with all the parts of my body, the feeling I felt having whenever I listened to Funke’s voice was priceless, I was so crazy about her to the extent that I recorded our conversation and played it over and over again , just to listen to her voice, usually anytime I speak with her, a big smile appears on my face and it lasts for as long as the memory of the call does. Funke was actually my happiness, my blessing , my food , my medicine …in fact Funke was me…I spend at least 30 minutes on phone with her, talking and talking about how much I love her, this really ate up a substantial part of my pocket money made worse by the fact that we used different networks. But I wasn’t bothered at all, I was determined to spend my blood on her..And so I continued the spending…
It happened that I was in a Mt’s room on one of such occasions after speaking to Funke, one of his roommates made an observation about seeing me in different corners of the hostel making long calls and according to him it was surely a girl, Mt went on to narrate what I told him about the relationship to his roommate, Donjaz as his roommate was called , after listening to Mt’s version went ahead to lambast me for being a fake Lagos guy. In his words ‘guy u Bleep up o and u sure say u come from Lagos? Person dey for Lagos guy dey Romance am, u dey here dey waste money dey buy card...sha I no blame u, na love u dey find, no be person like me wey dey find yansh’.
Everyone thereby present laughed at his utterances and as if to add salt to my injury , someone playfully added ‘loverboy’ and another wind of laughter blew …a name my friends would call me till date.

FIRST LOVE (episode 10)

 It probably would have been better if I didn’t go back home,  that morning, when I got home, I
 met  everyone searching for my mum’s phone which I switched off after the call. They were already trying to reach the number which didn’t go through. I started thinking of an escape route for what I  caused unaware of the fact that my sister saw me receiving a call. When my parents requested to see the phone with which I was receiving the call, I had no choice than to produce the kidnapped phone. My mum quickly confirmed her account balance…guess you know the rest?

A moment of heavy tongue-lashing followed, as if that was not enough, my punishment for that morning was fasting, yes I was made to forgo my breakfast. I wasn’t moved a bit for I had something more valuable than food or so I thought…
When I later got to my room to ponder over my discussion with Funke, I started wondering why Funke asked me not to trust her, y did she ask me not to put my mind on the relationship, ‘is she planning to jilt me?’ I kept asking myself several questions. Funny enough I answered all the questions the way my heart wanted it…’sure she’ll never break my heart’, I kept assuring myself.
Later that day when I succeeded in getting recharge card from mama chisom via credit, I decided to call Funke, for moments without listening to her voice seemed…eternity. I tried and tried to no avail. Her number didn’t go through, I concluded her battery was probably low. I decided to call later in the night, the only response I got throughout was ‘switched-off’. Same thing the next day, I kept calling …I called to the extent that it became a reflex action…I was even dialing her number unconsciously for two day to no avail!!!
It seemed like the end of the world for me, my heartbeat increased its beating, I lost appetite and only ate little food, my bed was virtually useless for the 2 days, sleep evaded me..all I could do was think, when I didn’t get answers, I thought harder…..Oh love!!!

The next day was Saturday, so i had a lot of work,to do, this actually helped to occupy the vacuum Funke created in my heart
But this was to last for only a short-while, immediately after the house chores, the vacuum resumed from its short vacation.I logged on Tugo to notify Wale of the development perhaps he could help me find a,way out for I truly needed help.
After a few minutes on Tugo ,Funke called, I concluded my eyes were deceiving me or it,was probably a delusion as it had been for the past 3 days. When I finally decided to pick up, I made a decision to query her for her nonchalance ...,..as if I could..
I picked up and asked in a rather apologetic manner why her number wasn't going through in the past few days, her reply befuddled my ears !!! She told me she travelled to write her post-utme and decided to switch off in order for me not to disturb her...

 


At this point I swallowed hard as if to swallow the rage burning up inside me, of course I was burning with rage and melancholy...but who was I to express that before Her majesty?
I started begging her and promised not to disturb her ,i begged her never to switch off her phone, for it was already having effects on me....i was probably speaking to deaf ears even with tears in my eyes as she asked 'who are u to tell me not to switch off?'

FIRST LOVE (episode 9)

Few days to my resumption, Lima called me , for the first time since I returned home. She asked if I had Funke’s number, to which I replied in the negative. Few minutes later, My phone beeped with an incoming message, when I checked …behold was her majesty’s number…not the Queen of England…but the Queen, controller and dictator of my heart –FUNKE!!!
Just like a reflex action, I was already dialing the number, whe n the receiving end picked up, Her Majesty’s voice couldn’t be mistaken. I composed myself and chatted her up in a polite manner…albeit extra-ordinaire . she kept requesting for my name, which I didn’t mention for fear of her hanging up. The happiness in me overshadowed the fact that I felt embarrassed at her inability to recognize my voice. I ended the call when I was told that I had just a minute left , and promised to call her at night.
I spent the rest of the day preparing my lines , I chatted with Wale on 2go, who gave me ideas on how to word her into acceptance. I rehearsed my lines like I used to when preparing for drama in secondary school. For reasons which the mind knows no reason of , I decided to call her immediately after sunset.
I called and introduced myself properly and started on a sober note; ‘y do u hate me this much despite my unbeatable love for u?’ I asked.
‘me? Love?’ she asked.
‘of course Funke, I love u, I mean it, I’ve gone several places, I’ve seen many faces, but none has captivated my heart as much as U’.
I continued pouring out my lines, ‘ are u there ?’ I asked , I got no reply, by the time I checked the screen of my phone to confirm whether the call was still on, I realized I had been conversing with my phone…Funke had hanged up

I dialed her number again, praying silently that she would pick the call and indeed that prayer was answered. I asked why she hanged up and she replied in the customary way women do ‘nothing’.
I continued my regurgitated lines from where I stopped, with my treacherous voice cracking at regular intervals. I begged Funke as if my life depended on her love, indeed at that moment my life was meaningless without her love. She was there at the other end of the call telling me several reasons she can’t date me, among which is the fact that ‘that’s how you guys beg girls and later she will become useless to you’ –in her own words.
I went on to rebuke her claim begging her to give me just one chance, I promised not to disappoint her, in fact I made several promises on that night , and I wonder till this moment, whether I truly meant those promises or I was just ‘toasting’ as usual. At that point in time, I was almost crying, but the little manliness in me at that time manned up the situation.
When it seemed as if I was speaking to a rock that will never move no matter the situation, I decided to end the call with these words; ‘If as at now, that I’ve been begging you for over a year, despite the distance between us, you still don’t believe I truly love you. I don’t think there’s anything I can do to make you believe me and this is the last time I’ll ask you for this.bye’
After those words, a graveyard silence Invaded the call…and suddenly I heard Funke's voice ‘you have my word’ before I could confirm what I heard, another voice interrupted the call saying ‘your accopunt has been exhausted and your call terminated’
A wave of mixed feelings stole the moment, for the call was over fifteen minutes from an Mtn line to a Glo line, not that I was a big boy to that extent, but love...i mean that feeling that makes one irrational rationalized my spending on that night,. I dashed into the house with utmost immediacy, picked my mum’s phone and dialed Funke’s number, I did that to confirm what I heard , whether it was her tongue malfunctioning or my ears deceived me .
Alas! The begging was over; I knew there was a great task ahead. I went back inside only for my siblings to start shouting that they saw me making call for so long. I wasn’t surprised because I knew how witchy my sisters could be. I went straight to my room, sat down and took a mirror to look at myself, whether everything was happening in my dream or in my realm….a wave of happiness swept over me, the kind that was felt only when victory is attained after a protracted battle…the triumph of love.
The anxiety in me betrayed my tongue, betrayed my throat, in fact it betrayed my stomach. I was hungry but couldn’t eat, I was thirsty but couldn’t drink for I already found what was more than food at that moment, I found what was more than happiness.
I spent the remaining part of the night in soliloquy, the anxiety in me went further to betray my eyes , I couldn’t sleep, I lay awake, smiling to the darkness , unaware of every other thing save for the feeling in my heart’.
In between my anxiety of that night did I feel a drop of liquid running down my cheeks, when I tried to find the source of the liquid...i discovered it was from my eyes, tears of joy were dropping uncontrollably, I clung unto my blanket very tight and relished the greatest moment of my life!!!....
I woke up the next day, unlike any other day, I woke up with my eyes wide opened, my nerves at alert. It was as if I didn’t sleep at all. ‘Oh God is this meaning of love, is this how I’ll be feeling for the rest of life’ … I asked rhetorically. I performed all my house chores as if I with so much alacrity that my people were startled and concluded I was up to something probably sinister.
Before breakfast that morning I sneaked my mum’s phone out of the house to call Funke. When she picked up, I actually found it difficult to say anything, I was just stammering, my composure failed me. Does love also turn an eloquent speaker into a stutterer? I asked myself.
When I later found my voice, I asked about her plans for the relationship and a host of other questions, for the most part of call, my Dearest Funke kept replying ;’nothing’. I didn’t allow her response deter me, as I went on and on pouring out sweet words of love and reiterating the promises I made the previous night, this time I was sure I meant if for all my utterances came from the deepest part of my heart, not just the deepest, the purest it is. At a point in time, she asked me whether I trust her, and I replied in the affirmative.
Funke advised me not to trust her, and not to put too much hope in the relationship, at that point in time I became confused, for seconds I couldn’t say anything until the call went off. It was at this point in time I realized I already exhausted the card on my mum’s phone…my confusion was thus brought to its peak!!!!

FIRST LOVE (episode 8)

The voice at the other end was so shocked that after my outburst she couldn't help asking: 'wasak!!! me?'. Of course even if i were bold enough to shout at her, i wasn't bold enough to affirm it. i immediately apologised to her and told her it was a mistake that I was furious before her call came in which let to the exacerbation of my anger. she was almost crying , she told me no one had ever shouted at her all her life, this got to me , my heart almost stopped beating, I became speechless as my whole body was flooded with regrets. True, i wasn't myself at that moment but that wasn't enough as an explanation for a heart-wrenched Tope.
My sudden outburst on that day turned a blessing for her in disguise. How? my conscience bullied me for my inhumane reaction , and the only way to pacify it was to make Tope happy. As such, i became closer to her, i called her more frequently than ever , I was careful though, in order for her not to perceive my gesture as a love re-union. I skillfully omitted any topic about relationship and love...which girl cares about that as long as there was care?
I rounded off my exams a week after the incident and for once I realised i had missed my family. Throughout the Five months of my departure from home , i never felt nostalgic about home, but immediately after my Exams, a feeling of nostalgia came over me...such Nostalgia that could only be cured by Jumping on the next available Bus to Lagos!!!
I hadnt enough money at the end of my exams to afford me a luxurious bus ticket, i therefore opted for a low cost transport. i boarded an eighteen-seater bus, the Bus itself was enough to detach my mind from the journey for it was so dirty, old and rusty. whoever cared about such when you've been away for months?
The journey was as rough as the bus, the driver, for reasons best known to him opted for a bad route, the mokwa-jebba lane which i s notorious for its well-like pot holes. luck betrayed me since i was sitting as by the window side, i was among the recipients of the violent movement of the bus due to the pot-holes, it was so much that by the time i got home the next day, the journey bore me a swollen head.
My homecoming was a surprise to my peeps , they knew I'd be coming quite alright but the details were well hidden by me. My mum, after examining from head to toe concluded i really suffered at school, that i already lost so much weight...My dad on the other hand jokingly said "your son is not in school, he looks like someone from America"
The semester break was all fun for me , Tope kept pleading with me to come on a date with her, i Initially agreed to go out on a date with her....little did i know events will take a new turn which was to change me forever !!!

FIRST LOVE (episode 7)

Exams started a week after Tope's call. I really felt pity for her, I knew there was nothing she could do to bring us together... it just wouldn't work ...d required chemistry was totally absent. I wrote my exams as well as the fear in me motivated me to. The fear of failure is d beginning of wisdom for a new student... not all though. I remember don jazz -Mt's roommate, he was the perfect description of a lackadaisical student, he always bragged about how he was able to secure admission in the university despite his woeful performance in the matriculation Exam. such was donsag, whenever he saw people going to class to read, he would mock them by asking:'na my papa born book? It was a day to my last paper when I got another call from a strange number, I thought it was Bisola at it again, nay!!! I was wrong.
The call was from Funke's classmate -Lima. I was so surprised when I for to know she was the one, she said she had called just to inquire about my welfare at school. I was really happy about the , not because someone cared but because of my inner motive. I asked if Funke was nearby, she replied in the negative and promised to call back whenever Funke returned.
and for the first time in so many months I waited impatiently for that call.

 When my phone finally rang, i rejected the call for I already recharged enough airtime for Funke's sake. I called and the voice I heard from the other end couldn't be mistaken, it was Funke's. A sudden wind of joy blew past my heart, it swept me off my feet, it stole my speech, the wave of joy left me dumbfounded. That kind of joy you get when you find a valuable thing you misplaced for long...yes...such was the joy Funke's voice brought to my heart.
I was brought back to reality once again by the same voice that left me in a trance! 'Are u there? ' she asked!!!
'Yessss.... I'm here ' I stammered .
I ve always been a smooth talker but for that moment I was a complete stammerer. I managed to compose myself and inquired about her studies. We talked for over 5 minutes (etisalat to mtn ). Before the call ended, I requested for her number and she promised to call me whenever school vacated. For the remaining part of that day, I was a king .Yes , a king...i did every other thing in a royal manner trying my best to savour the moment of bliss Funke's voice gave me. And for many days later, i kept playing the conversation as i recorded it during the call.
Once again I was back to my old self or rather my real self. I couldn't restrain my mind from daydreaming about Funke. On one of such occasions of my sweet daydreaming, Tope's call came in to interrupt the moment, albeit rudely. I, angered to the extreme picked up the call and shouted 'dont ever call me again in your life !!!

FIRST LOVE (episode 6)

Occasionally, thoughts about Funke would arrest my mind, I would search for bail by trying different things, such as; gisting with friends, playing football and so on. Mt, by then had become my very close friend. Although we lived in separate blocks, we were an inseparable pair. I would cook and we’d eat together and vice versa. Our closeness was probably fostered by the fact that we shared many things in common, he lives in Lagos, so do I, he is a Yoruba guy, so am I.
As a sharp Lagos guy, Mt had already registered his name by getting a girlfriend in the federal college of education opposite our school. We used to visit her and she really was a ‘maga’. She spoilt us with gifts, food and so many unmentionables. Sometimes I’d ask my guy whether he truly loved her, for it was evident my guy had no atom of feeling in his heart. On my part, my conscience really disturbed me due to the fact that the girl gave her all in the relationship. She really did try at times I do wonder what she saw in the guy, was it because he was in the university? Or was it because he was a law student?
I just hope she forgives me, because whenever she asks me whether my friend loves her, I’d say “he never stops talking about u”. I told her this despite the fact that he abused her verbally and almost did physically; I really wish she saw what I saw, or rather what I knew!!!

 

 In no time, exams drew nearer and preparations began in earnest. As a fresher, I prepared.for exams in the best possible way a student could. I wasn't d type who keeps to his book everyday, I read only when exam time table has been released. Life in the university was different, many students read in such a way that one would think reading is oxygen needed to survive. This attitude was more common among students from the faculty of science, almost every night, they could be seen in every corner of the school, whenever there was no power supply, they'd use their torches.

Seeing them do this caused great fear in my heart, for i started feeling like an unserious student. This fear pushed me to apply the rule of 'if u cant beat them, join them' and with that i joined the 'till-day-break 'students. These group of students rarely sleep at night, most of them leave for study in the night and return to their rooms d next morning. I joined this group solely to satisfy my conscience so it would start seeing me as a serious student because i hardly did anything profitavble other than moving from one class to the other laughing at dozing till-day-breakers. It was during one of such nights of self-deceit that i received a call fron a strange number !!!!

 The call was actually from an Etisalat line. When I picked up, I recognised the voice instantly but feigned ignorance.
'So you've finally forgotten me abi 'the voice said.
'Sorry ,may I know who's on the line? 'I said feigning ignorance.
'Wasak!!! Me ? U dont even recognise my voice any more'
'Is this Bisola? I asked in a rhetorical manner...
'I'm sorry but I don't have this number of urs on my contact list ' I added...
'Its ok ' she finally said.


Immediately I discovered it was Tope, I knew there was a great task ahead for me on that night, and indeed there was. I started by giving her several excuses for my inability to call her,I also apologized and made her feel guilty for not asking about me too...I mean I'm studying law,I really know how to play with another man's conscience. We talked and talked on so many irrelevant and relevant matters.

I made the call outside in order not to inconvenient my roommates, much to the delight of mischievous mosquitoes who seized the opportunity to satisfy their hunger from my blood. When I felt they must have sucked their fill, I told Tope I was going back to bed, she asked 'so you are tired of me?' I understood what she meant and did not want to ruin our already ruined relationship . We continued talking until the night call ended.
I was made to pay for my profligacy of the night the next day as I dozed off in class at regular intervals, Mt took a great advantage of this opportunity as he took snapshots of my indolence with the camera of his phone!!!

 

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FIRST LOVE (episode 5)

I had gone on one of my usual futile search at the Cafe to c whether any miracle has happened about my post utme result. A miracle indeed happened, not about my post utme result but about something better.

FIRST LOVE (episode 4)

During my fling with Tope, I had travelled to a Federal University in the another part of Nigeria for my post -utme exam. At that time there was nothing like boko -haram and d state was so peaceful that you find people walking about freely in d midnight.
Till date, I still wonder the reason behind choosing d university as my choice school. During my registration for Jamb, I had chosen Lagos state university, for my dad had Long legs there. After the Exam I scored 266, and with that I felt I was good to go anywhere or so I thought.
I just woke up one day and told my Dad I wasn't interested in LASU any longer, and I wanted to change to a northern University. He asked y and I told him I wanted to explore my country. being the liberal type, he immediately granted my wish ,I bought the scratch card and changed my choice institution...all this was without my mama's knowledge.

She got wind of this pleasantly unpleasant development only after I had successfully changed it... all hell was let loose. Mama rained a flood if insults on my Dad blaming him, accusing him of giving me such an idea. My Dad being the calm type, laughed it off and dismissed it with a wave of a hand to the wind.....Days turned weeks and weeks to months. My post-utme result was no where to be found. I checked the school's website, but couldn't find my name. Since I knew no one in d school, I couldn't lodge a complaint to the faculty.


These development gave my Mama an aura of superiority as she seized the opportunity to rain more blames on my dad for wasting money, efforts and time. It wasn't as if she did not want my progress, but the fear of been separated from her son by a journey of over 18 hours by road was the beginning of wisdom for her. She swore that even if i were to be admitted, my enrollment in the School will be over her grave. Such was d kinda love a mother had for her child... d kind of love mothers have for their children... like some would say...The only True love is the love of a mother to her child!!!! do you agree?
At this point in time, my sisters seized the opportunity to taunt me, for they knew my decision to be faraway from home was partly informed by the desire to escape their devilish ways.
I kept going to d Cafe everyday, hoping for a miracle to happen. Whatever gave me such hope, I do not know. In the meantime, my fling with Tope was fading away albeit gradually, much to my delight... no thanks to my lackadaisical and lukewarm attitude towards her.
In the ember months of 2010, something happened, and that incidence till date makes me ask anyone facing a problem, d way a girl asked Mazi Omenuko...
'do u believe in fate? '

FIRST LOVE (episode 3)

I needed no Messiah to tell me to hang up. I hanged up instantly and switched-off my phone. I even went to the extent of hiding it under my bed as if that would cut off all network connections.

For two days after that incident i switched on my phone only at night. I kept painting several pictures of what Funke will be passing through in the hands of her Mum for having the temerity to release her number to a guy.

When i called Wale much later to know why he gave me a wrong number. He told me he saw it in his sister's diary..y didn't he confirm d number before giving it to me ? I thought foolishly as if it were his business.

Seconds metamorphosed into minutes, minutes to hours, hours to days, days to weeks,months and more months. I was rather jobless as a jambite , so my schedule for almost every day was wake,eat ,think about Funke all day, crying-wishing i could hear from her....
Such was how i spent my time until i finally made a decision!!!

What could be worse as a punishment to a teenager than solitary confinement? I grew up in the Barracks, d first 14 years of my life was spent there. My dad been a sucker for discipline and moral upbringing resigned his appointment mainly because he felt he needed to have time for us.
he resigned in 2008 and by the end of 2009 , we were on our way out of the barracks.

We moved into our own house, in a suburb of Lagos. and for the first time in my over 15 years of existence, I saw that houses were scattered around 200 kilometers apart from each other, I saw that people actually live in uncompleted buildings, I saw that there was more to fetching water than twisting the head of a tap.

This particular time in my life, turned me into an introvert -since I had no friends, and this gave me a lot of opportunity to brood in melancholy about a who girl cared less or didn't care at all about my existence or so I thought!!!

It was at this point in time that I decided to woo an ex-classmate of mine - Tope!!! I hope she forgives me wherever she is today!!!! 

Till date, I've not found any explanation for asking Bisola out. One thing is damn clear to me, even at that time, and that's the fact that she was no where close to the position Funke held in my heart. Silly me...
She, Tope, was d lively and friendly type . She do call me frequently at that time and so I decided to use her as a tool to wipe away the pain Funke had brought to my heart.
I called her and told I had something important to tell her, as usual, she became very anxious, having noticed the anxiety as her weakness, I capitalized on that and started beating about the bush, this time not with a stick, rather with a sweet mouth. I started by pouring out all the lies I had earlier rehearsed about how I felt towards her. When I noticed how sober she became as a result of that, I hit d nail on the head not with a hammer, but with my sugar coated mouth...
I expected her to play hard to get as women are wont to...she didn't for reasons best unknown to me...

Tope could only ask if I were sure about what i was saying...I, fully prepared with words spelt how sure I was to her in several sentences... this got to her.
Finally she made a request!!!! what a request!!!!

Coincidentally, I wooed Tope on valentines day, and that till today i still find as the best justification for her request.
She had requested that i send a Valentine's text message to her..Guys, when desperate can go any extent to prove their self worthy of a girl's love. Mine was actually different, I didn't send her any message...my reason for this is not far-etched, immediately I saw signs of acceptance from my conversation with her, I realized that, in my heart, there was no atom of feeling for her, not to talk of love. I therefore concluded that It'll be wrong to lead her on....if there were one thing I was so blessed with by the Creator, it's my conscience... my conscience is my personal police, it arrests me even when I'm right in a wrong way.

My defiance to her request I felt, will make her conclude that I was unserious, this I felt will naturally lead to her refusal. On that day, she inadvertently proved to me that the female homo -sapien is more emotional than logical.

She did the calling throughout the spell of what she felt as a relationship, I, on my part was on d run from my conscience, I didn't make promises, I didn't give her hope, I didn't lead her on.... neither did I break it off, for I was afraid of breaking a heart...with this my conscience tempered justice with mercy - for it only subjected me to occasional feeling of guilt.
During this period, there was a day she asked whether or not I'll forget her should my admission become a reality.... I simply told her time will tell... indeed!!! time actually told....

Time, the worst enemy of man... brings our fears closer to our face by each passing second!!!

FIRST LOVE (episode 2 )

Graduating from secondary school means transition to the real world. right from my days as a kid I had this kinda deep reflection which betrays my age. people never believe my real age cos I've always found myself among people older than me.
I did well in my Jamb and all my papers save for Yoruba and maths.... my mother tongue has never being my best tongue and mathematics has never being my friend. i expected such a result since no form of assistance was supplied to us during the Exams.
Graduating from secondary school is actually a step higher but detaching one's mind from d previous step seems a great difficulty. that was my case, Yeah!!! just forgetting about my secondary where I had carved my own niche seems impossible. this situation was probably due to Funke!!! a substantial part of me was With her.... I searched on Facebook, called my friends to get me her number...I tried all tricks to no avail. my heart was lost.. Yeah i did not know when It'll find it's way home...
I was in this state of mind... when a friend of mine called...
'guy how far? ' I started
'I dey... u remember Funke?' he asked
'yes na.. .wetin do her?....talk na....
'guy ansa na '
'calm down y ur blood dey hot? wale asked amidst hysterical laughter.
'I just wan tell u say I get her number ' he finally said.
'u serious? abeg send am shapally .
The call was from Wale, some minutes later, my phone beeped and my instincts naturally told me it was a message from Wale, sure it was.
I saved d number with utmost immediacy, in such a way that my inner mind asked me mockingly whether my life depends on it. Of course it does, it would be disastrous for me to continue living when my heart is elsewhere. That was me, and that has been me ever since I started feeling something in me for Funke...
i stood up from my bed and raced outside to my neighbour's. place... Mama Chisom to buy card... did I say buy? I actually went to beg for credit on credit. After much pleading... she gave me d credit.. prolly cos it was my 1st time
..
'Hello... who is this? ' female voice picked up.
'Funke!! it's me senior Wasak ' I answered with a shaky voice and a heart beating like it were pounded with a pestle .
'this is not Funke! it's her mother and what do u want from her '


WHAT?
To be continued soon... stay tuned

FIRST LOVE (a story Episode 1)

Disclaimer;All rights reserved, no part of this publication may be reproduced, copied, pasted or stored in a retrieval system without prior knowledge of the Author. Deat readers also bear in mind that all characters therein are fictitious and any semblance to someone you know is a mere co-incidence...happy reading!!!

Alas!!! Waec, Neco and Jamb has come and gone. I actually never believed it will be so easy writing those exams within 3 months. Right from my Jss 1 I have lived with d fear of Waec as the beginning of my wisdom.' anyway I'm done with Waec now and can only expect good result after all the cramming ' that was me soliloquizing in solitude on d Eve of my Graduation from secondary school. 'guy na here u dey? I think sey u don go meet dat chick o ' that was my friend wale teasing me about my junior whom I had feelings for. funke !!! d sound of that name has never done anything good to my mind. whenever I heard her name my heartbeat automatically rises for reasons best unknown to me. i dont know what d meaning of love was at this point in time but I sure know it's either Funke becomes my girlfriend or nothing else!!! Yeah!!! nothing else actually cos i don't c myself as anything without her!!! 'mumu wetin u dey think ' that was Wale again trying to bring me back to reality from my pregnant mind. 'so how e go be na? i no get liver to go meet that babe o!!! ' I finally replied. ' shey u know sey tomorrow na our graduation? after this night she don go be that o' 'okay make I send one of those juniors make dem help me go call her for hostel ' I finally concluded... just then a female junior walked upto me to inform me that the hostelmaster wants to c me. I told her to inform Funke that the headboy wants to c her alone by 9 pm in jss 3 class . I thereafter returned to d hostel 'I'm sorry I summoned u @ ds time of the Night. I've tried to ignore the fact that I'm incomplete without u to no avail ' I started the conversation ds way. 'me? ' 'yes U funke! ' I continued ' since d 1st day I saw u in this school ,I've realised that I'm not complete like other people out there. a substantial part of me is with u.I don't know how! I don't know why! but I know I'm incomplete without u. I know u will find what I'm telling u tonight hard to believe. all I need is an opportunity to prove to u that what u re hearing from me tonight is from the deepest part of my heart and not my mouth. ' 'I don't understand u ' she said at this point in time my legs were trembling as if I were standing on the atmosphere and treacherous drops of sweat betrayed my face. 'funke I don't know how to explain this feeling but please just give me a chance ' I concluded 'head boy I'll think about it' she said and started leaving. 'when should I be expecting ur reply 'I asked... ' I don't know ' she said and ran away into the darkness of the night. The day-after was my graduation ceremony, I've made several attempts at writing my farewell speech as the outgoing head boy, all in futility no thanks to the thoughts of Funke ravaging my small mind. Now that she has at least given me hope, I have to write... said my mind. 'what do I write? how do I start ?" I asked my inner mind... and so did d debate continued between my mind until I returned to the dormitory . 'how the stuff go na? ' that was Wale seated on my bed on my. bed waiting for the outcome.of my 'toast-capade '. 'guy bone abeg, I never write my speech. make I write am we go talk later ' I replied dodging d expected answer to his question. 'ha-ha ha-ha.. I no say u no fit toast woman make she gree... u just know book for nothing ' he said amidst laughter. I simply ignored him and ordered all the juniors in my room to imprison their mouths while I set to write my speech. to be continued soon.....